Your birth means the knowledge ‘I am’
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
I thank my friend Mr Vijay Deshpande for sending me a copy of ‘Jean Dunn’s Journal’ from which I compiled these excerpts which are in the words of Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj as recorded by her from 1977-1981.
My state is such that my very existence, my beingness supports all the activities of the world. I do not directly participate in any of the activities. My presence means the happening of all the activities. This happening of the ‘I amness’ has spontaneously come. Only the cause is given as Prakriti-Purusha or the parents. It is a mere excuse.
In trying to understand ourselves, we think we are born of parents and we will die. These are all misunderstandings. This beingness has come and will depart. There is no question of death.
This Maya misguided me completely. They showed me my parents and called me a person. This Maya showed me the wrong direction. All this misdirection is due to the parents. Without my beingness nothing exists.
So many people come and go. Actually what happens is that they dive deeply into the ocean of beingness.
My state is the eternal state, prior to any happening, prior to any feelings, so why the hell should I dive into this ocean of beingness? Because, I already exist prior to the consciousness. That no-knowing Absolute state is not a subject matter to understand. Why did that no-knowingness state get involved in this knowingness state?
When it is understood that the body is not one’s self, then one loses individuality and merges into the total manifestation. There is no self and other. When this is understood and the individuality lost, then whatever takes place in the world is realized to be merely the functioning and is only witnessed. There is no involvement.
That which is apparent and present will disappear and that which is absent (not being phenomenally present) will remain for all time. Knowing this I am also aware that only that which is apparent can suffer and the suffering is to such an extent that even weeping won’t help. But only witnessing takes place. All experience, all knowledge that is generally accepted as knowledge, lasts only from the point the consciousness arose to the point where the consciousness disappears. That which I consider knowledge exists prior to the arrival of consciousness and lasts after the disappearance of the consciousness.
Once the consciousness disappears, all that has appeared will disappear. The substratum, that knowledge which was there before the arrival of the consciousness, will remain even after the disappearance of the consciousness.
I am at real peace when that which I am remains unalloyed. If it is alloyed with something and so long as I am conscious of it, there is still that sense of duality. Only when there is complete separation from it and I am in my own true nature, only then there is total peace. So long as consciousness is there and I want the consciousness, still the fact remains that I am one with consciousness and there is a sense of duality. Only when there is unawareness of awareness can there be complete peace and that can be only when the consciousness is not there.
On my original state, when I was unaware of my awareness, this state of consciousness has come and gives me a sense of presence. It is the presence which is overbearing and overpowering me. The every sense of presence keeps me in bondage so I want that sense of presence to go away so that I can be in my original state.
Your birth means the knowledge ‘I am’. This is relating to your body. The very seed of your birth contains the entire universe and cosmos. Go to that borderline which indicates from no-knowing to knowing state. Be there. The truth cannot be experienced. The truth is non-experiential, non-observable. Whatever you see and experience is natural, spontaneous. It is not indicative of personality or individuality.
How long I was unaware of my awareness one doesn’t know, then suddenly this consciousness arises; so that consciousness which is latent in that awareness, for how long one doesn’t know, suddenly comes about, starts stirring. Does anyone think along these lines? Awareness is not aware of its awareness.
Once you know that you are, then everything is. When you don’t know that you are, nothing is. Whatever is witnessing is whole, total and complete. But when there is witnessing, it is incomplete.
The Absolute can never be experienced; it is not an objective affair. When the light of the Self reflects on something, then witnessing of that something happens. When the Absolute puts the light, let us call it the light, in consciousness, consciousness knows ‘I am’.
The Absolute Ultimate Identity of yours has no knowingness. It does not know itself. It is. Only through the consciousness, the witnessing happens to the Absolute, of the consciousness and because of the Absolute the consciousness knows ‘I am’.
In my original state, I was awake, I was never asleep, and nobody else had told me, I know it for myself. There is no proof for it. This something I know intuitively, as a fact. It is not theoretical theory, it is fact that I know. In my perfect state I am perfect, total, and complete. I don’t know I am. There is nobody else except myself.